Accepting Help

I sometimes find myself in a dilemma. On the one hand, I’m hoping to get some help. Wouldn’t it be great sometimes to have somebody clean your house, grade your papers, work in the garden, entertain your kids… It sounds pretty enticing to me.

Of course, it doesn’t happen every day that somebody shows up on my footstep and offers to take something off my plate. But it does happen occasionally. And it’s wonderful. Or isn’t it? It amazes me every time how hard it actually is to accept help. How hard it is to “confess” that I truly could use another hand. How much easier life would sometimes be if somebody else offers another pair of hands. I wonder why this is so difficult. I think in part it has to do with not wanting to “look like” somebody who can’t do it all. So here’s a typical dialogue that starts in my head every so often…

A:            Your kids are sick? – let me come over and help you out for a while. I have time.

B:            Oh that’s wonderful. Are you sure you have time for this?

A:            Of course, not a problem.

B:            Well, wait, are you implying that I can’t handle this by myself?

A:            No, I just want to be nice.

B:            MMhhh, okay.

A:            I’ll be there in a little bit.

B:            Mhhhh, do you think it might look to others like I can’t handle it?

A:            Geez, you are starting to get on my nerves.

B:            Well, that’s my job. I’m here to question everything and try to turn something great into something partly dubious.

A:            Suit yourself. I’ll be over anyway. But I won’t talk about this. I’ll just play with your kids for a while. And then I’ll go home. Because I’m pretty sure you’ll do just fine by yourself. Even though it’s often just nice to have another person there.

B:            So true. Could you please bring something to quiet that nagging voice in the back of my head?

A:            Honey, you are on a fast. I’ll bring some red wine after Easter…

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1 Comment

  1. Cheri

     /  March 15, 2012

    Have I mentioned that I think we have a lot in common? My mom seems to think it is a youngest-child thing – this need to constantly prove to the world that I can handle “it,” whatever “it” might be. I’d like to think it’s gotten better with time, but it really hasn’t for the most part. Although I’m often quick to advise others to accept help when it’s offered. Hmmm…….

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